God in the ER

New famous quote I just made up: "I am probably one of the weakest, most emotionally fragile people you've ever met. I also have a strength that would amaze you." Feel free to quote me (just not to my face on a weak day .... :)

Fact: If you ever don't know how to 'take' me ... just say "Oh, she must be trying to be funny".

Today: I laughed. That's huge. I also sang worship songs at my piano. Again ... a huge step forward.

Thank you: Suzanne for taking me to the ER when I-71 was closed because of black ice. The Kuehn's for taking Andrew sledding. Sharon for daring to cook for us. (we have weird allergies).

Disclaimer: In what I share here ... I am simply NOT trying to convert you. I am NOT trying to preach. I have NEVER convinced anybody to follow Christ by talking to them. In fact, they've probably wanted to go in the opposite direction. Okay? Believe me? Good. Now let me tell you how Jesus Christ was in the ER. (He is God, you know ... Father, Son, Holy Spirit ... the Trinity ... nothing weird, just Christianity).

GOD IN THE ER: I have really been suffering... beyond what 'others' told me to expect from Chemotherapy. It is day 9 and I am just now thinking I might live thru this first round. Still haven't looked at my 'port'. I swint my eyes (told you I am weak). Bone pain. No sleep. A ton of bricks on my chest. Horrible heartburn. Incredible disabling weakness. Shaky. Headache. Every flu symptom you know. Sore Throat. Head pounding. Big itchy rash around my whole neck ... hives. My neck looks like a turkey's neck today. Nails hurt. Allergic reaction to the drugs. Resurgence of my candidiasis. Sore from surgery. In bed every day, all day. Scalp is numb. The nurses saying "you still feel bad? you don't have a fever do you?". Very sad and scared. I thought the bad part would only last 3-4 days. My nurse told me to go to the ER. Ugh. More pokes. Prods. Injections. CatScan to determine if I had a blod clot (i didn't). EKG. IV to hydrate me. I cried everytime I told someone why I was there.

I was met at every turn by compassionate people. Charlotte was the nurse who inserted the deep IV to hydrate me. She saw my emotional state and said "Let me tell you a story. My mom was diagnosed with cancer years and years ago and they told her she was going to die soon. I travelled from N Carolina to see her and we got on our knees and prayed. When she went back to the doctor, he was furious because he thought someone had confused her chart. It wasn't confused ... she had been healed. She still had to go thru alot ... but she was not going to die". I said "Do you pray to Jesus Christ?" She said "Yes"... And sometimes He gives me visions, and when I look at you I can see that you'll be okay". She said "I will be praying for you". I said "If you pray to Jesus, then will you pray for me right now?" She closed the curtain around my bed .... grabbed Suzanne's hand and my hand and prayed hard for me. Someone tried to interrupt us, and she said "Not now ... in just minute". One thing I remember .... she prayed that I would have the courage of a lion. I have also been wondering if I should see a certain doctor in Medina who may be able to help me get thru this with some natural approaches to ease the symptoms. I never told anyone. But Charlotte happened to say "My mom saw a Dr. in Medina who really helped her". I said "Is it Dr. Weeks?" She said "Yes!". She gave me his address. For me it was a confirmation to give him a call. When she left, we were stunned. What in the world had just happened?

The Sr. citizen volunteer lady told me she'd pray for me. I asked ... "Do you pray to Jesus? Because it's no use praying to anyone else ... because who else had the power to bust out of the grave?". She said 'yes'.

The ER doctor came in to tell me I could either stay in the hospital or go home. He was so compassionate. The shift had just changed, so this was the first time I had met this particular doctor. He looked at me with compassionate eyes, held my hand, and told me he would pray for me. I said "Do you pray to Jesus?". He said "yes, of course" ... and my first name is Angel (he was Hispanic). He felt that his name was significant. I was simply amazed by his warmth and gentleness. He affirmed the fact that chemo is an all-out assault on the body, and that I am indeed suffering. So during our conversation I asked him .. What can I expect in the next few days. He got quiet. Looked at me quite seriously. And slowly said "I ... am expecting a miracle". We all got quiet. He appeared rather choked up. Silence. I could not believe what this doctor said to me. When he left he told me he'd be praying for me. I believed him. My bro George and his wife Suzanne were both in the room. We were simply stunned. Awed. What was going on? God met us in the ER.

I have no definitions of what happened. No nothing. I can just tell you what was said and done. I could not have manipulated one of these conversations. I know that I am loved with an everlasting love. I will go and do and be a part of and believe anything that God tells me to. For now .... I am in awe. And I'm looking .....

I went home feeling just as bad physically (except ... I slept 4 straight hours that night). But something went on in Southwest General Hospital ER that day. I will bask in it. I will let myself be encouraged by His mercy. "I will look to the hills .... where does my help come from? My help comes from The Lord ... the maker of Heaven and Earth." Psalm 121

Question of the Day for Thursday, Jan 15: "Do you pray to Jesus Christ?" :)