i've been so hesitant to write. because i don't know what to write. i want to encourage you and thank you ... but i feel like a failure right now. i'll just start with the bad stuff and then go forward to the good stuff. i am sore and very sad. i don't like this at all. don't want to be depressed ... need to move on. but i am sort of shell-shocked (in all ways). not sure what a day will hold for me. it's all a bit too real.
okay ... now the good stuff. it's your prayers to my Jesus. never feel ineffective. never. never feel like you are just 'one'. i was so not panic-striken when we were at CTCA. i didn't have to reach out for His hand ... i didn't have to even pray ... all i did was relax and bask in His love. i'm serious. He came to ME ... i did not have to go to HIM. i have never experienced that in my entire life. thank you, and thank you, Lord. a few times i got really nervous, and He sent someone to talk to me. i met a nurse who knows Christ, and she just held me. we found a pastor there to come and talk to us, and he is a solid follower of Christ.
should i share with you my 'ridiculous' prayer request? remember in the old testament, the 3 men who were thrown into the fire? shadrach, meshach, and abednego. and God himself was in there with them? and they weren't burned? not even their clothes? it was ridiculous! i am asking that the Lord might do that for my organs and immune system ... that all the 'fire' of these chemicals and poisons would not singe me or harm me. if you're a 'ridiculous' believer ... you may want to join me. it's all up to Him. but i don't think He minds me asking. i hope He's pleased. (check it out in Daniel chapter 3 around verse 12 .....)
well ... i'll close for now. thanks to each of you. even if you don't share my faith in Christ ... just your caring and kindness is huge to me. i love each of you. thanks for letting me express myself. much love, diane
What a blessing to hear how God met you there! I've heard of it before, have experienced it myself. It is WONDERFUL when God holds your hand, isn't it? Oh, Diane, you are in my thoughts and prayers. That is always my prayer for you... that you'll feel His comfort (and that your organs will not be burned!) Love you, Kelly
ReplyDeleteDear Diane,
ReplyDeleteThanks for your honesty! It is such a testimony to us to hear about your struggles as well as your successes! Praise God that He met you in the hospital.
And as far as your prayer request goes... it is a priviledge to pray that God would allow these strong medicines to get rid of the cancer and not to harm any other areas of your body. The other part of the Bible story that came to my mind was that just as God was with Shadrach, Meschach and Abedigo in the fire, He was faithful and was in your presence at the hospital watching over you and protecting you. Isn't is awesome Diane, that the God of our Universe was there in your presence.
I love you sister and will continue to lift you up past the ceiling into the Heavenly realms of our loving Father!
Wendy
Di, it's hard to be 'up' when you're feeling so low. This is all too new to you yet and you still are reeling. From what I have read (from others with this damned disease), first you cry. Remember you are human ... I am not looking for you to be stoic and 'stiff upper lip'. Get pissed off (sorry, but in this instance I think the word's appropriate)!!! Chuck and I are pulling for you Diane. Our thoughts are with you (Bill too).
ReplyDeleteLove from od2