I didn't want to get all technical. But some are asking. If you're not into the medical aspect I won't mind if you hit the 'x' button.
so the stupid tumor (yes .. i think all tumors are stupid ... have you caught on that my humor is a defense mechanism ... a mighty handy one, i think) is about 5 cm ... that's about 2.5 inches. pretty big. it has no business in there ... stupid tumor. it has not metasticized (has not gone to other organs or parts of the body). we are grateful. they are concerned that it is close to the chest wall. a lumpectomy would just about be a mastectomy. by getting 4 rounds of chemo first (each 3 weeks apart) ... they are thinking it will shrink it down so that 1) it would be easier to take out and wouldn't require a complete mastectomy. 2) that maybe i won't need surgery at all. that sounds ridiculous to me. i'm into 'ridiculous' prayers (i think God is too) ... so go ahead and pray that one if you feel so led. i support it all the way. lymph nodes are involved. 2-3 as they can tell now. the potential scenario is .... chemo then surgery then radiation then hormone therapy. maybe chemo afterwards too. the surgeon said that mine would be a typical surgery (which was really good news). strange what is considered 'good news' these days. what the surgeon (dr. ray ... pray for him) was telling me was that i didn't need 'the best of the best' of surgeons to take my case. he happens to be one of the best ... so i'm sticking with him. i will have a 'clip' put in where the tumor is so that as it shrinks they will be able to locate it easily. can't wait for that appointment. the 'port' goes in my upper left chest on friday morning. very excited about that, too. all the sarcasm means 'PRAY'!
chemo: Docetaxel (Taxotere) and Carboplatin
This is all from my memory of discussions. I hope i got it all right. i want to be able to handle all of this like a good girl. i want to be able to relax and trust in my heavenly Father. not doing too well right now with all that. oh, for my faith to show itself real in these experiences! that's what i want. all i know is that i'm very human ... more than most (lol) and i'm bringing you along for the ride! Jesus was 'human' when he sweat drops of blood in the 'garden of gethsemene' before they took Him to the cross. He was overcome with anxiety. if it's okay for Him, i'm guessing it's okay for me. but it would be nice to be able to relax a little. i covet your prayers. and look forward to a time when i can report a victory in this area.
p.s. oncologist said i'd lose my hair in 2 weeks. i already have a wig ... there's an interesting story behind that statement. the fingerprints of God can been seen in that story. maybe i'll tell you one day soon. i can't give away all my interesting stories at one time. thanks for letting me express myself creatively and in a real manner... sarcasm and all. it helps me alot.
i love you dearly.
diane
Diane,
ReplyDeleteI just want you to know that I am praying for you and I am following your blog. You must be getting a ton of questions and I know that can be tiring. So, please keep blogging so myself and others can share your feelings and we will continue to pray. As I am sitting her writting to you, Jeremiah 29:11 comes to mind. This is one of my favorite verses. Trust in our Heavenly Father Diane (as I know you will) - he will get you through this....
Jeremiah 29:11
For I know the plans I have for you,"declares the Lord," plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.
thank you jackie :)
ReplyDeleteDiane,
ReplyDeleteJust want you to know that I am praying for you and your family daily. You are on my mind always. Thank you for blogging to keep us updated. I wish I had words of wisdom or comfort, scripture to share, something profound to say, or a CURE! I have nothing but I will continue to pray and as always ask you to call if I can help!!
I think 'sarcastic' works. I have another 'choice' adjective for tumors, other than stupid ... but this is a PG site.
ReplyDeleteI am keeping up with your blog. This was a good idea so you don't have to repeat and repeat again what's happening.
Stay strong Diane and Bill ... (((Hugs)))
Love from od2 (and Chuck)
thanks :)
ReplyDeleteGee, I have no idea where the sarcasm comes from??!! Your transparency is a blessing to those of us who love you. "Who..shall dwell with the devouring fire?...He who walks righteously and speaks uprightly..." Isaiah 33:14 bg
ReplyDeletetranslate that scripture for me ...
ReplyDeleteMy take on it is this: We have a better chance of standing up to adversity (ie:"fire") if we handle things with honesty and integrity (ie:"rightous" and "upright"). Acting in this way helps us remain secure and focused on the true source of our strength.
ReplyDeleteThat's something I can get my mind around.... bg
ooooooo ... i can handle that translation.
ReplyDeleteO child of suffering, be thou patient; God has not passed thee over in His providence. He who is the feeder of sparrows, will also furnish you with what you need. Sit not down in despair; hope on, hope ever. Take up the arms of faith against a sea of trouble, and your opposition shall yet end your distresses. There is One who careth for you. His eye is fixed on you, His heart beats with pity for your woe, and His hand omnipotent shall yet bring you the needed help. The darkest cloud shall scatter itself in showers of mercy. The blackest gloom shall give place to the morning. He, if thou art one of His family, will bind up thy wounds, and heal thy broken heart. Doubt not His grace because of thy tribulation, but believe that He loveth thee as much in seasons of trouble as in times of happiness. What a serene and quiet life might you lead if you would leave providing to the God of providence! With a little oil in the cruse, and a handful of meal in the barrel, Elijah outlived the famine, and you will do the same. If God cares for you, why need you care too? Can you trust Him for your soul, and not for your body? He has never refused to bear your burdens, He has never fainted under their weight. Come, then, soul! have done with fretful care, and leave all thy concerns in the hand of a gracious God.
ReplyDeletewho are you?
ReplyDeleteHi Diane. My Dad told me about this blog. We will be praying for you guys. That is so hard. I wish I could hug you all and be with you right now. I will pray.
ReplyDeleteTrusting you guys got there ok. Diane, although you have the body of Christ lifting you up in prayer, but physically you probably feel kind of alone in this, and I can say that because YOU are the one being poked and proged at, and you are the one they are injecting some mean drugs into...I pray the Lords surpassing peace and strength for you during the times when you feel alone. Isn't it strange the ways the Lord wants to meet us???He meets us in all kind of picular not so nice ways sometimes...but still He wants us to come to Him in every situation..BUT WHERE ELSE DO WE HAVE TO GO???? Well, enough said...Remember in the darkness what Jesus has taught you in the Light..Love you guys--Dolores
ReplyDeleteyes. yes. to all the above, dolores.
ReplyDeleteHi Diane, Well we have been keeping up with your journey through your family. Bob and I are praying for you together and also last Sunday our church began a week of prayer. Our pastor said to be specific because our church and satellites (10,000 or more) would be lifting our specific prayers up. Here is what I prayed and believed for you: God that Diane Wilhelm will be completely healed and that this cancer will be gone before the doctors can even realize it. I claim this for Diane in Jesus' Precious and Blessed Name. I know of the feelings that you speak not because I have personally experienced them but because Becky experienced most of the same feelings. I know about the issues you have with them putting poison into your body after you have spent so many years being so healthy. I know that you are going to be healed and that although you have already had one round of chemo that God will heal you. He is the GREAT Physician...He is the GREAT Healer...we never quite know why we go through certain things but God's Promise is for you. We will be keeping up with your blog...and we will be keeping your name going up to God so much he will cure you just to stop hearing the name Diane Wilhelm! Love and Peace to you...
ReplyDeleteoh my ... so grateful. you do understand.
ReplyDeleteMy Friend,
ReplyDeleteMy heart broke when I heard in from HFJC about you today--I am so sorry! After my initial shock and grief, I logged onto your blog, and an immediate sense of peace and assurance that all will be well came over me. You are a very loved child of God, and you are seeing the Father intervene on your behalf right before your eyes. It's so awesome when you have eyes to see and time to stop and watch Him work, isn't it? I'm right in that place with you every day--sometimes I even want to laugh right outloud at His perfect timing! My laughter comes from the absolute joy of how gracious and good He is!
I read this line in a Beth Moore book a few weeks ago, and it struck my spirit in such a powerful way, and know I give it to you.
God loves nothing more than to stun the humble with His awesome brand of intervention!
Watch Him work, be at peace, knowing that He has it all under control! I love you and am praying for you! You are stronger than you know, stronger than you have ever been--God has given you a gift of strength to get through this journey and come out on the other side. Go in peace and know that you never walk alone!
I'll be in touch-
Love,
Paula
Jeremiah 29:11