I'M VERY STRONG, VERY BRAVE, AND VERY COURAGEOUS!

....... And if YOU prayed, you can take the credit! I just put my armor on and marched forward into battle like a good little warrior-girl. I figured "It's gotta be done, so LET'S GET IT DONE! I've got flowers to get home to ... and Singing Angel Barbershop Harmony songs to sing ... so let's move on!" But I must tell you ... surgery is far better than chemotherapy in my book!

Today as I write this (Monday) I'm in unexpected pain ... so I write with a mix of anxiety and anger. Stupid pain. Anyhow ....

Everything went well. The margins around the tumor were clear (very, very good) and he took only 3 lymph nodes. Only the 'chief' lymph node had a hint of malignancy. When he tested the next two, they were clear. But since he cut them up, he had to take them out. But they were clear. The bottom line is .... I won't know THE NEXT STEP (chemo, radiation, tamoxifen, or RIDICULOUS NOTHING!) until I go back in one month. Dr. Ray will call me this week with the pathology report. I hope I can understand what he tells me.

I was so peaceful, knowing that alot of you guys had Dr. Ray 'covered' in prayer. And i just knew that the Holy Spirit was lighting up that O.R. I guess Dr. Ray came to me when I was still highly doped up in recovery, and told me that my lymphs were clear. At that point the nurses called Bill over and said "you're not normally allowed in here, but you've got to come see this". He came in to see me smiling real big and repeating over and over "it's not in my lymphs! it's not in my lymphs!" I was out of bed 24 hours later and had energy and joy mixed with a little trepidation.

Dr. Ray is so wonderful. He let me come in for an appointment every day after surgery to set my mind at ease. As I would share my deep concerns with him, he would reassure me ... and then somehow we would leave the appointment all cracking up. I had this ridiculous sense of humor going on. I think it was a ridiculous joy of sorts.

I must tell you that the rest of our time at CTCA was filled with a ton of laughter and joy, as well as depth of soul. God used my colorful scarves to open conversations with strangers. They seemed to be approaching me constantly the whole week. "I like your scarf" .... then I was able to talk with them. It ended up being a week of being encouraged by others ... and a week of me encouraging others ... a week of entering into other people's pain ... and a week of ridiculous humor as well. I don't think I ever laughed as much as I did the days following surgery. It was ridiculous.

I want to tell you about Hope. She's an Asian lady probably in her 60's. She works for CTCA by pushing a cart around with goodies for the Chemo patients to eat and drink. Sometimes she sings songs as she pushes the cart. They are always songs about Jesus. This week we saw her stand in a waiting room packed full of 'heavy' souls' and just start singing. She doesn't sing complete songs ... just parts of songs. Some are hymns. Some are worship choruses. And sometimes they're way too high or way too low. Well one time, Bill and I got on the elevator, and Hope was in it too. Just the 3 of us. Hope doesn't talk too much, she just sings. So the 3 of us just started singing real loud "Thank you for the Cross, Lord. Thank you for price You paid. Bearing all my sin and shame, in love You came, and gave amazing love". Then as the doors opened we just kept singing as we walked down the hall. No embarrassment. Then ... later she was singing in the dining room with her guitar. She was there for like 15 minutes singing to a full capacity crowd of scared, hurting people. They clapped and smiled after each song. We can't believe they haven't 'shut her down'. But we think it's because she's a little 'different' and no one wants to stop her. She's not really a singer ... and that actually endears her to people. She sings straight from her heart. And she just radiates love.

Oh ... you know what? Speaking of Christianity ... I have needed to clarify something for a long, long time. I mis-stated at the beginning (way back in December) that Cancer Treatment Ctrs of America is a Christian-based organization. It's not. I misconstrued it. But there are many people there who walk with Jesus. And we are just loving it. It's in a town called Zion (a Biblical town name), and it was founded by a pastor and his church a lonnnnng time ago. Almost all the street names are biblical. The hospital is on Elijah Street. So, no, it's not a Christian place ... but Jesus is welcome to roam the halls there. And for that we are grateful.

Well ... I have to go take a pain pill and empty my drain tube (I just know you wish I hadn't told you that ... now I've just ruined your day). But I love you with all my heart, and I pray for you often ... for God to bless you as He's blest me ... for you to have the strength to walk thru this life with Him. Till next time ... i remain faithfully yours, Diane