AN EMAIL I SENT OUT APRIL 4TH

i wanted you to know that a lumpectomy (not a mastectomy) is scheduled in chicago for april 28 (tues). horribly nasty procedures on april 27 (mon). the tumor did not pull away from the chest wall. instead it was pulling the chest wall up with it. but it did shrink. the lymphs shrunk also. they are all very pleased with the clinical result of the chemo. they won't know til after surgery (pathology report) if i need more chemo (less dose). it depends on if there are 'clear margins' and how the lymphs look. at this point i don't know how i could possibly handle more chemo. 3+ weeks past my last chemo and i'm still not well. radiation is seemingly inevitable. then tamoxifen (a drug to suppress estrogen ... for 5 years). i know most of you are not interested in all this 'clinical' talk ... but many are ... so i'm sorry if you didn't want all this info. but i still thank you for remembering me ... and all the myriads of others going thru the same trial. it's an unbelievable road.

i'm gonna work thru this. it's all a process ... emotionally, physically, spiritually. thank you for caring.

p.s. i'm looking for emails from any of you who have information and opinions about removing the ovaries so that i won't need to be on tamoxifen. (tamoxifen can cause uterine cancer). this stupid tumor is fed by estrogen. email is the best way for me to receive this info. keep in mind that i would jump this ship in a minute to do things naturally. i'm hoping for opinions as well as a website or two i can visit. i know some of you have no ovaries ... and are sorry about it. if you have input, i'd be interested. (bill said he doesn't have ovaries, but he can't help me).

p.p.s.. i'll tell you about the MRI on the blog later. He was there. :)

p.p.p.s. so grateful that i didn't get another chemo this week. unbelievable mercy.

p.p.p.p.s. (am i doing these p.s.'s right? ... homeschool moms can let me know) .... am struggling with the thought of being so far away from my support system (family & crucial friends) during surgery. but we know we are in the right place (cancer treatment ctrs in chicago). my surgeon is one of only 5 surgeons in the U.S. who does what he does. he's well-seasoned at the age of 66. i think that's a good age. he's seen it all and has good intuition.

p.p.p.p.p.s. do you remember when i prayed that my organs wouldn't be harmed by the 'fire' of the chemicals? the oncologist always giggles out loud when she reads the lab report because my liver keeps getting healthier and healthier. well now. that's something to ponder. :)

thanks for cheering me up. i feel better than when i started writing this. i had only planned on writing 3 incomplete sentences with only bare minimum details.