PETRI DISH

PETRI DISH: A Petri dish is a shallow glass or plastic cylindrical lidded dish that biologists use to culture cells.

So ... my mom tells me this story about how there was a science experiment done with two petri dishes of human cells. They weren't necessarily sick cells ... just cells. They had people praying for a long time for the one petri dish, but not the other. (I know ... it's weird .. but stick with me). The dish that was being prayed for ended up with stronger and healthier cells. The other one ended up with weaker and not as healthy cells. I wonder who conducted that study? Anyhow ... I am renewed thinking about it. And so it's prompted me to ask for prayer.

Get a load of this: I've almost finished 2 weeks of daily radiation (9 days worth). I met with my local radiation oncologist today (who gives me the willies ... have a hard time communicating with him). My mom says he's "Best Cuts" ... don't make me explain my mother's humor. Anyhow ... I've digressed. I reminded him that he was going to retrieve my MRI films from Chicago (Cancer Treatment Ctrs of America). He said that he needed to see them to see if my treatment will be altered at all. So when I brought it up this week, I got kind of scared at his response. He said "Well, I'll have to call in the experts (at this point I'm thinking ... aren't YOU the expert?). I also immediately start thinking ... "Oh no!!! CTCA lied to make themselves looks good!!! They didn't get all the cancer!!....

BUT NO!!!! The Dr. said "You may not need the last heavier dose of radiation ... the extra week we tagged on may be unnecessary."

Now ladies and gentlemen ... this is really encouraging!!!! Right now I could just hug CTCA .... the whole building!!! So could you consider me the petri dish that was prayed for? Could you pray for me? My cells would appreciate it. Not to mention ... my whole little self (that is slowly growing from having a consistent appetite again!).

I have wrestled with God and myself over this radiation process. I really have wrestled to get free from fear.   I have had to do it before each and every treatment/procedure/chemo. So why would this be any different? But I am finally at a place where I lay on that table and put it in God's hands. But I must not be totally successful at it ... because I can't quite breathe during the 2 minutes or so that the beam is on me! I don't THINK I'm anxious ... but then when they leave the room and turn the machine on ... I feel like I can't catch my breath!!!! Ahhhhhh! I feel like running out of the room screaming. But it only lasts a few minutes. I enter smiling and joking and I leave smiling and joking. Nobody but God sees my inner turmoil in those few minutes.

My fear does not diminish His power. He is Father, Son, Holy Spirit. Just like you learned as a kid ... nothing strange .. just powerful ... and willing to meet me where I'm at. He let's me go thru my antics ... and then I reach a point where I can rest ... not because things will be okay on this planet ... but because He has promised never to leave me or forsake me (Hebrews 13). And ... this life is not all there is. So either way ... I win. I'm just honest enough to admit that the ride is terrifying at times. Well ... I'll let you know how my Petri dish does next week. Cancer has made me say something I used to never say to anyone but my husband and son ....

I LOVE YOU.

P.S. It's been 9 weeks since my last chemo... and just today I think I can say that my hair is starting to grow back. Wahoo!